What Is 'Marry F Kill!?' Countess LuAnn de Lesseps on her Latest Cabaret Show

EDGE: Did you ever think it would become this big?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: Never. We got paid $10,000 for the first season. It was really kind of a pilot. They didn't know how it was going to go, either. We all took a chance. Rather, we did, because I think the network probably knew that this was going to fly, because they already had "Orange County," which was working.

EDGE: Alcohol seems to fuel a lot of the drama. Did you ever feel manipulated into drinking?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: No. Either I love to drink, or I'm not drinking. [Laughs] Either I'm falling into a bush on tequila, which I've done, or not. I've been doing the show for so long, and nobody's ever pointed a finger at me and said, "LuAnn has a drinking problem." It's never been my problem on the show, aside from my little bush problem, but that was a fun problem. In fact, they supported my sobriety when I was sober. It's never been an issue. Nobody's forcing you to drink. It's up to a person to pick up a drink or not. It has not been my experience.

EDGE: Are you sober now?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: No. I drink on occasion. Like on the "Ultimate Girls Trip."... I said to the girls, "Listen, I drink on occasion. This is vacation, so I'm having fun with you girls." And we had a great time. I'm in a different place with alcohol than I was. You know, we grow, we change. Hopefully, we learn something from our mistakes.

EDGE: Was the episode when Aviva took her leg off, completely spontaneously?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: Oh, the leg! Oh, my God! That is an epic, epic scene. I think that was premeditated, if you want the truth. I mean, you can't get your leg off that quick. Nobody knew it was coming. That was her own swan song, and we'll call it a swan song because after you throw your leg across the room, I don't know what more you can do.

EDGE: The look on your face was just brilliant.

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: This is the backstory that you will love. I'm literally laughing my ass off in my turquoise necklace. I'll never forget. I'm laughing at myself because my first thought when she slammed the leg down on the table was, "Here we are at Le Cirque, and there's a dirty shoe next to my silverware." I was laughing at my own reaction. This woman just threw a leg across the room, and now slams it on the table, and I'm thinking about the silverware.

EDGE: I guess you aren't friends with her anymore.

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I certainly am. I haven't seen her since she's moved to Miami, but I was in contact with her because there was talk of her possibly being on the "Ultimate Girls Trip."

EDGE: Are you friends with any of the others now?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I talk to Dorinda all the time. Ramona was just around the corner, actually, having lunch with Dorinda. I missed them because I was working. We get together still. Sonny and I, of course, because we have "Crappie Lake" together. We're tight. Kelly's always in touch, and Jill as well. So, yes.

EDGE: What about Carole (Radziwill)?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: No. [FIRM] No. No. No. No. She stole my chef from my kitchen.

EDGE: What do you think about Bethany's call for unionization of reality stars?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I think that protecting reality stars is not a bad idea. I just don't think you need to burn down the house while you're doing it. She's burning down the house of NBC and trying to burn down Andy's house. I'm talking about the house in total.

EDGE: Let's get to what's going on with you currently. Did you ever think you would end up touring the world doing cabaret?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: Cabaret really saved me. And what is cabaret? It's a personal story. It's a walk through memory lane. I use clips from the show, I have stories about myself, the girls. It's not really focused on the "Housewives." Of course, there's talk about it because that's where people know me from. But it's really my favorite songs, and songs my fans are going to know and they can sing along to. I cover songs that I love, and I work back to where I was and why I love the song. And that's where I come up with my stories. Then I pick a dress from Jovani.

EDGE: Why cabaret?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: The Count used to say, "You're such a showgirl," because I love to host parties, I love to tell jokes; I tell some ripping jokes. I grew up with six brothers and sisters, so you have to learn to navigate and be funny, otherwise you're not included. That's really where it comes from.

An old friend of mine said, "You should be doing cabaret," and it was kind of an "Aha!" moment. That's when I met my first director, Ben Rimalower. He was a huge fan of the show, so he knew many things about me. Together we wrote that first show. Then I got married to Tom (D'Agostino), then divorced. I was busy doing other things. I had some minor legal issues.

EDGE: What is "Marry F Kill!"?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: It's actually called "F, Marry, Kill!," but I didn't know that, so I called it "Marry F Kill!" It makes more sense lyrically for me, and it's really inspired by my fans because there's really not one cabaret show that I've done since 2018 that my fans don't ask me, "Countess, who would you marry? F? Kill?" Then I'm given three choices. It's a game people play. In my 20s and 30s I was living in Europe, so I didn't really know about it. I decided "Marry F Kill!" would be the name of my new tour. We'll talk about who we'd marry, who we want to F, and who we want to get rid of, because we're not killing anybody. That's how it started. Then I wrote the song. It's produced by Bruce Roberts, who's huge in the music industry. He's produced for Whitney. Tracy Young, who won a Grammy with Madonna, is remixing it for my tour dates in London. It's going to drop just before I get to London on May 28.

EDGE: Do you play "Marry F Kill!" with the audience?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: Yes, I do. We play together. That's what I love about my show. It's really immersive. People are so engaged the whole time. When I first started I did "Countess and Friends," and we realized whenever I had a guest people went to the bathroom, they go to the bar. The minute I got off the stage, the focus was lost. After COVID, we made it "Countess Cabaret." I got a new director, Richard Alexander. He's worked with Chenoweth, Bette Midler, Streisand. He came to me and said, "Countess I just have to say I was not expecting very much from you, and you blew my mind. First of all, you can sing." They always make it look like I can't sing on the show because they want to find a train wreck so people will watch. He said, "You can sing. You are funny, and you wear a dress like no woman I've ever seen. And you're going to be a big star. Give me two weeks." And he found me my touring agent, Rich Super at Gersh, who brought me across the country, and now we're off to London.

EDGE: If you could do it all over again, is there anything you'd change?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: One of my famous lines from the show is, "Not really." When Heather asks, "Would you be upset to find a naked man in the bed next to you?" Not really. I'm not really a big reminiscer. I'm somebody who is a forward thinker. We have friends that are big reminiscers. It's just not who I am. To live in the moment and not worry about the future and take what I want from the past. I'm a good cafeteria Catholic.

EDGE: The best kind. Are you single?

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I'm single and ready to mingle. I'm dating and having the best time. I really have no regrets. I think life happens for a reason. We all have our journey. I am so blessed that I've found something I'm so passionate about that I can do until I'm Marilyn Maye's age.

For more on Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, visit her website. For upcoming dates on her tour, follow this link).