Out in Atlantic City with Miss'd America

As the success of the Golden Globe Award-winning HBO series, Boardwalk Empire has made abundantly clear, Atlantic City has never had a problem with garish splendor. The Boardwalk city with its Monopoly rules has long been a mecca for gamblers and glamorous molls - and this year's Miss'd America pageant, titled "Boardwalk Empress," was as raucous and celebratory an occasion as any party during "Nucky" Johnson's reign.

With eight drag queens catfighting for the Miss'd America paste stone tiara, backdoor politicking was to be expected - but it was the abundance of talent from the leggy glamazons that had the audience at historic Boardwalk Hall on its feet.

For years, Miss'd America was the Atlantic City beauty contest that lampooned the nationally-televised pageant while raising monies for local LGBT service organizations - and the city was understandably bereft when Miss America eloped to Las Vegas in 2004.

"Totally Inappropriate" Westenhoefer Totally Speechless

After a five-year hiatus, Miss'd America returned in 2010, with the winner, Michelle Dupree, taking her victory walk on the same 42-foot long runway trod by Vanessa Williams and her stiletto'd sisterhood - and, this year, that legendary runway was once again the scene of cartwheels, splits, and enough naked ambition to make Madonna proud.

The night's outcome seemed certain as soon as Miss Shi-Queeta Lee (aka Jerry Van Hook) from D.C. took the stage as a red-sequined Tina Turner, complete with a guitar-picking Ike and the Ikettes. This caterwauling dynamo launched into a ferocious rendition of Ms. Turner's "Proud Mary" that had the entire audience cheering on its feet, even before Miss Lee took a full split directly in front of the judges' dais. The house went crazy - and the Miss'd America crown appeared to be dangling just above Miss Lee's head.

Even this year's M.C., Ms. "Totally Inappropriate" Suzanne Westenhoefer (herself a beauty pageant winner, as in "Miss Lancaster, PA.") was momentarily speechless.

"I Wanna Be a Rockette"

The power struggles had only begun, however, which became evident when Miss Kitty Hiccups took the stage wearing a girls' school uniform monogrammed K.H. and sang - no, really sang, with her own voice - "I Wanna Be a Rockette" (from the ill-fated Kicks: The Showgirl Musical).

Hiccups, who's also known as David Hyland, is a graduate of the University of Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music - and when she opened her mouth and sent this song to the rafters, the Miss'd America crown was in play once again.

The panel of judges for this year's pageant included Michael Musto (also known as Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, and Snooki), and the perennially soign� Miss Coco Peru. While the pageant's outcome hung in the air, Erika Schiff and the Miss'd America Dancers tore up the stage and runway in a ferocious and steamy production number that bettered anything ever seen on an Oscars telecast. In fact, Ms. Schiff, one of those triple-threat performers who kicks like Cyd Charisse, sings like a sultry siren, and radiates contagious energy, appeared to be rehearsing for her night at next year's MTV Video Awards show. Watch your back, Rihanna.

Beauty Isn’t Only Skin Deep

The game-changing moment of the evening might well have been when Miss Hiccups took the stage in a gemstone-studded, skintight leopard print gown and parried the question "What would you tell a teen bully?" with a combination of wit and wisdom that highlighted Miss Hiccups' acumen and grace.

The crown was hers - and after a farewell walk by last year's Miss'd America, Michelle Dupree (aka Scott Cooper, father of two children and registered nurse), accompanied by a heartwarming video tribute of her year-long reign that proved Dupree's beauty wasn't only skin deep, Miss Kitty Hiccups owned the legendary Atlantic City runway.

More than $30,000 was raised during last year's Miss'd America pageant. This year's beneficiaries included the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Mazonni Center of Philadelphia, as well as Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, and the Schultz-Hill Foundation, which provides funds for local LGBT service organizations.

If the applause and laughter from this year's audience was any indication, next year's Miss'd America pageant might well be televised. For those of you eyeing that crown, start practicing your routines now - on Atlantic City's Boardwalk.

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Atlantic City Hospitality

Atlantic City has always opened its arms to visitors.

By 1925, Atlantic City had more than 1,200 hotels, to house more than 400,000 annual visitors, arriving at one of three airports, or via eleven of the fastest trains in the entire world.

There were twenty-one theatres, five amusement piers, three country clubs - and more alcohol than anywhere else in North America. As one historian has written, "Prohibition didn't happen in Atlantic City."

In other words: once a party town, always a party town. Or as the city's logo states, "Atlantic City: Always Turned On."

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(Story continues on next page: Where to Stay, Where to Eat, and Where to Shop)

WHERE TO STAY:

Trump Taj Mahal, Chairman Tower: Opened in October 2008, the $255 million Chairman Tower infused the Taj with a massive injection of high-gloss, top-quality glamour. For any guest fortunate enough to check into the Chairman Tower, the rightness of his/her choice is evident upon cruising through the private marble-floored corridor leading to the Tower's 74 suites and 704 guest rooms, all located in a tower rising more than twenty floors above the glistening Atlantic Ocean.

With suites ranging in size from one thousand to fourteen-hundred square feet, the Chairman's plush quarters include living and dining areas, a powder room, a massive full bath with walk-in shower and separate soaking tub, double sinks recessed into granite counter tops, walk-in showers, iPod docking stations, inclusive wireless Internet, and two massive high-definition plasma Sony televisions. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlook the Boardwalk, the beach, the ocean, and the horizon beyond - and if you're fortunate enough to be in residence during a snowstorm, the view of a blizzard sweeping along the beach and the Boardwalk is one that will remain with you for many winters to come.

Best of all, every inch of the space has been impeccably designed. You feel immediately at home in one of these suites and ready to move in. Be forewarned: it's going to take serious motivation, something truly tantalizing, to leave such splendid living quarters.

LINK: Trump Taj Mahal Chairman Tower Suites
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Bally's Atlantic City: First of all, if you're staying in Bally's Tower, you should be fine. If, however, you find yourself scurrying along back corridors to the Claridge Tower, the original 1930 structure that opened during the Great Depression, you might lower your expectations. While this 24-story building once housed Marilyn Monroe when she was Grand Marshal of the Miss America Pageant, and while the hotel still maintains a graceful silhouette along the ersatz Atlantic City skyline, the Claridge Tower has seen better days. Many of the rooms are adjoining, which means you'll become quite accustomed to your neighbors' voices and learn much about their habits - and not only their television preferences.

Bally's is one of those economically bifurcated casinos, where it becomes immediately apparent when you have crossed over into the more upscale sections of the complex. Seek out the better rooms at Bally's and you'll be happy.

As for the staff and management, nearly everyone employed at Bally's is extremely helpful and cordial (even going so far as to return eyeglasses left in a limo, as well as the base of an electric toothbrush carelessly left behind in a room).

LINK: Bally's Atlantic City

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WHERE TO EAT:

Red Square: Step through the gold leaf doors of Red Square at the Tropicana and enter into a bordello-red Imperial fantasy that's an amalgam of Russian fairy tale and New York's erstwhile borscht palace, the Russian Tea Room. Draped in velvet and dripping with crystal, the tapestry-laden dining rooms at Red Square are a warren of Imperial jewel boxes, one opening into another, not unlike the Czar's fabled Faberge eggs. There's also the well-known Vodka Locker where guests lounge in sables and greatcoats, tossing back shots while their breath hangs in the polar air.

LINK: Red Square
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Mia: Voted one of the Best Restaurants in Atlantic City, according to Daily News, Mia is one of the more popular, premier restaurants at Caesars - and with good reason. Chefs Georges Perrier and Chris Scarduzio are the masterminds behind Philadelphia's Le Bec Fin and Brasserie Perrier - and their work at Mia is equally laudable.

As soon as you enter the lobby at Caesars, you're nearly bowled over by the immensity of Mia's majestic Roman columns and soaring pediment - and a grand dining room that evokes Tosca at the Metropolitan Opera.

Give in to the Roman fantasy and order one of Mia's signature cocktails - a Caesars Sidecar or a Red Lady - and then the roasted beet salad with burrata mozzarella. For a truly divine and decadent sensation, go with the pizza tartufo, a thin-crusted masterpiece of forest mushroom and reggiano Parmesan laden with fresh seasonal truffles, melted foie gras and lobster. This is food meant to remind you that Atlantic City has always been a celebration of divine excess. "Nucky" Johnson would approve.

LINK: Mia

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WHERE TO SHOP:

Atlantic City Outlets - the Walk: Right at the end of the Atlantic City Expressway and directly behind Caesars, Atlantic City Outlets is a shopper's paradise of more than one hundred stores, including more than forty well-known retailers such as J. Crew, Banana Republic, Ralph Lauren, Nautica, Calvin Klein, Bass, and Brooks Brothers. Punctuated by chain restaurants like Ruby Tuesday and Ruth's Chris Steak, the Walk has been open since 2003, with more stores added yearly. The latest walk of outlets opens in the spring of 2011, including Puma and Michael Kors. Even in cooler weather, an afternoon spent at this well-maintained outdoor mall is pleasant - and a definite boon to your closet. Check out the winter sales in January for the best prices and the best selection. This is retail therapy at its best; you'll feel like a million bucks - after spending only two hundred.

LINK: Atlantic City Outlets the Walk

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GETTING THERE:

ACES (Atlantic City Express Service): With fares starting at $29, and only one brief stop in Newark, the ACES train runs directly from Manhattan's Penn Station to Atlantic City Rail Terminal in less than three hours. Book a First Class ticket and you'll be reclining in red leather seats on the Upper Level, with private food and beverage service and a view of the passing countryside. Or even better, book the private lounge car, complete with DVD player, private food and beverage service, and the fantasy of your own personal Pullman car. Trains run Friday through Sunday, with seasonal schedule variations.

LINK: ACES Train
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FURTHER LGBT ATLANTIC CITY INFORMATION:

Miss'd America

Schultz-Hill Foundation

Greater Atlantic City GLBT Alliance

Atlantic City Convention and Visitors Authority

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MORE MISS'D AMERICA FEATURES: The Boardwalk Crowns a New Empress

Miss'd America Fashion Parade on Historic Miss America Runway